How can I support my children with homework without doing it for them?
15 Apr 2010
One of the questions regularly raised by parents in discussions with right2learn teachers relates to how to provide the right level of support for children with their homework.
There is no quick answer to this question, and of course the right approach will vary for each child, both with regard to their homework and their overall education at school.
I would start by reiterating some of the comments made in our previous Blog ("Why does my Primary school child have to do so much "dreaded homework") in which we stated that homework was a tried and tested means for teachers to reinforce lessons, as well as confirm children's actual learning, and identify their individual needs.
This may seem an obvious point, but it is one that seems at times to be missed by well intentioned parents. The aim of the homework is not necessarily for the child to answer all questions correctly, but for the teacher (and parent) to identify through the process which questions the child can answer at this stage, and therefore where the learning has occurred or requires further reinforcement. Without confirmation and reinforcement, education will be both limited and difficult to track.
Therefore the start of the answer to the question posed is to stress that parents should not complete the homework for a child. Instead, they should recognise that it is better for them to accept that if a child genuinely cannot do a piece of work, then the homework has achieved at least part of its purpose. If the parent actually provides the child with the answers in the process of offering support, this can be counter-productive as it does not inform the teacher of the problem.
This can be a difficult point to accept as a well meaning parent, which, as a parent of 5 children, is something I am all too familiar with myself. The child's motivation also has to be considered, and their future response to homework if they find they continue to struggle with it and don't feel supported. As such, my personal approach has been to try to provide some degree balance, with general and direct support (and assistance) with homework. It is hoped that the following comments might provide food for thought for parents, whilst I accept that they might not work for every child:
Homework time and routine
Most parents will agree that children need routine. This relates particularly to homework, where the benefits of discipline cannot be overstated. It is important to establish a regular routine from the outset which works for both child and parent. In other words, a routine which creates all round acceptance, avoids stress, and allows the right opportunity for the homework to be completed sufficiently , and the objectives achieved.
How to best establish this routine will of course vary with each parent and child. However, my advice is that an effective approach is through initial negotiation. I.e.: to start by explaining to your child that they might expect to do a set amount of homework each day (tailored by the information you receive from the teacher) - and ask when they would prefer to do it? Ask questions, such as whether they would prefer to do it before or after their evening meal, or watching their favourite TV programme, or playing their favourite game. This reinforces the message to your child that they will not have to do homework INSTEAD of doing other activities they want to do, but will do it AS WELL AS those activities. By giving them some say and control over the timing, it helps to create cooperation and acceptance on the child's part of doing the work in the first place.
Having then agreed on a time of day, it is important to keep to this from the outset. Falling into the trap of allowing the child to vary the times leaves the parent of having to frequently renegotiate the homework each day. This is where the conflict potentially arises, and some stress either from parent or child as to if and when the homework will be done. Such stress will often affect the mood of either parent or child and therefore affect the outcome of the work.
Having established the time of day, it is important to review it after perhaps a few weeks, and then once again discuss with your child whether they feel this is the best time to be doing the work. By applying a negotiation approach in stages, it removes the perceived need for the child to try to negotiate each day.
Learning environment
Again it may seem obvious, but it is important that the right environment is established for your child to do their homework. This should ideally be one where they are comfortable, able to actually do the work, and do not have unnecessary distractions. Lying on the living room floor, with the television, even with sound turned down, is probably not ideal!
A better setting is at a desk or table, where your child can sit properly on a chair and read, write, draw, etc, without becoming uncomfortable after a short period of time.
Some parents find that their child works best with relative isolation, i.e.: in a room on their own, whereas others state that their child prefers someone else to be in the room. My own personal view and experience is that it worked best with my children where I was in the room, but not necessarily sitting at the table with my child. This avoided them from too easily seeking my advice every they had a problem, rather than attempting the question first, but also gave them the comfort of knowing support was at hand if needed.
If this approach is taken, it is important to convey the impression of support to your child, and not appear as if you are too busy to be interrupted. I found an effective approach was to quietly sit in the same room, perhaps reading a book, and occasionally ask how your child is doing. This reinforces the message that you are there and willing to help if they are struggling, but not there to do the work for them.
Go through the work
If your child does ask for help, don't be afraid to actually work through a piece of homework with your them, as long as there is sufficient work involved to ensure the child has the opportunity to do some work on their own thereafter, to confirm their understanding.
Maths lends itself very well to this approach, as there may be several questions of a similar type. Helping your child with the first few questions, even by going through and explaining the process, can help to build their confidence and reassure them that this is something they can do, and should not feel daunted by. Having done this, there can then be great satisfaction as a parent in sitting and watching your child put into practise something you have just explained. A difficulty parents may face though is that the method they may have learned at school, and be comfortable with, will often not be the method used and taught at school today, especially in Maths. As such, caution should be applied. A suggestion might be to start by asking your child to explain to you how they think it might be approached, to see if you can recognise the approach being taken.
If your child's explanation seems different from your own understanding of how to approach the task, or if they are unable to explain it, it is always helpful to look at their work book, if you have access to it, to see for yourself the approach being taken. If you do not have access to the explanation notes, you then face a decision as to whether to leave the question unfinished, or to apply your own approach. My advice is that this would very much depend on the level of understanding you feel you have yourself in the subject and how readily you feel your child will understand what you go through. Some children may find being provided with a different approach at home from the one explained at school simply confuses them. Others will take this in their stride and apply the approach which works best for them. My view is that there is no harm in trying to start with and then gauging the response by results.
This is where services such as the assessments provided by right2learn can be of assistance, as all questions include explanation notes from teachers, designed to assist parents in developing children's learning in Maths and English, using methods taught within classrooms today.
Another approach which can provide effective support to your child is to simply ask them to look at the homework before you let them start, and ask them to confirm their understanding to you by explaining what they have to do. Thus you can prevent your child from possible time wasted by clarifying any immediate misunderstanding they may have relating to the actual homework requirement.
Review, encourage and praise
After your child has completed a piece of work, it is important to reinforce your support. This can be effectively achieved by looking at the work they have just done and offering some immediate feedback. This might relate to the neatness or presentation of the work, or commenting on how work they have done, or how well they have answered questions.
The point is that the parent re-establishes the impression of support at the end of the homework, and leaves the child with a positive feeling. This continues to build a positive approach to homework and helps to maintain the child's motivation for the next time/day.
The parent should avoid actually marking the homework at this stage. Even if your child has answered a number of questions incorrectly, it is better to leave this for the teacher to mark. Remember the purpose of the homework is to assist the teacher in confirming learning and identifying your child's needs.
Communicate with the teacher
This is something that parents often forget to do, particularly in relation to an individual piece of homework. If your child particularly enjoyed a piece of homework, or spent a long time working on it, pass this on to the teacher, so that they also have the opportunity to comment and offer further praise.
Alternatively, if your child struggled with a piece of homework, or you feel it was too easy, difficult, unclear, etc, relay this feedback to the teacher. A simple comment from the parent at the end of the homework to the teacher can also provide the teacher with valuable information, which can be responded to and incorporated in the planning of further work for the child, both at school and at home.
The greater the cooperation is between parents and teachers, the greater the opportunity for children to realise their potential.
Seek support
Don't forget that you are not alone. Other parents may face the very same issues you face with your child. There are also any number of people from whom you could seek advice and support, including family and friends, and organizations such as right2learn, where our teachers are experienced at providing advice and support, and are keen to help.
Submit your comments below. Alternatively, for direct support from one of our teachers, contact us.
